DEAR MISS MANNERS: Now we have a longtime pal, and now neighbor, who can’t eat meals orally resulting from in depth most cancers surgical procedures and coverings years in the past.
They’ll eat very restricted portions of liquids, however they use a tube-feeding course of for all diet, and have executed so for years.
We’ll quickly host a proper, seated feast for a dozen neighbors to satisfy the most recent individuals who have moved to our avenue. This consists of our pal. The pal accepted our invitation, clearly wishing to be included within the introductions and dialog, which was our desired final result.
They’ve attended a number of informal social occasions at our dwelling previously, however by no means a seated occasion centered round a meal. What’s the most well mannered option to set the dinner desk when one particular person is not going to be consuming any meals? Ought to there nonetheless be plates and flatware at their spot, or solely glasses? Or a full place setting, however with none meals?
Now we have thought-about providing the pal the choice to make use of their tube-feeding technique whereas seated on the desk; the method is pretty routine and acquainted to me, resulting from an extended profession in well being care. Nonetheless, for this particular person, the method requires being reclined.
We do intend to permit this pal to provide any private clarification to the brand new company, who will likely be unaware of the scenario. However the place setting (or lack thereof), plus the dearth of any meals, will definitely draw everybody’s consideration.
GENTLE READER: Setting the desk in full can be Miss Manners’ selection, to keep away from forcing your pal to answer others exclaiming, “You don’t have a plate.”
However she wonders why, in such particular instances, the one that has essentially the most expertise and is most affected by the scenario just isn’t instantly consulted.
Please ask your pal for his or her desire.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: A pal’s daughter not too long ago died. In lieu of flowers, they prompt a donation to a charity, which we did.
We’ll inform them we made the donation, however ought to we inform them how a lot we gave?
GENTLE READER: Why?
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Do we’ve till March to ship New 12 months’s playing cards?
GENTLE READER: It is determined by what turn-of-the-year you might be celebrating.
Oh, go forward when you’re prepared. Miss Manners suspects that the recipients will simply blame the put up workplace.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or via postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
