DEAR ABBY: My spouse places up with me, and I am keen on her for it. I’ve my challenges.
I used to be concerned in a head-on automobile crash 15 years in the past and have suffered a lot of long-term accidents from it. I can do most of what I would like bodily, however not all the pieces. I’ve taken drugs for residual mind points from the crash and may turn out to be offended with out a lot warning.
I’ve had each household and particular person remedy. I train, meditate (however not practically as typically as I ought to), take drugs to maintain me secure and have reminders in numerous locations about what I ought to do and never do.
I purchase my spouse flowers fairly repeatedly and keep playful typically. I additionally take excellent care of our special-needs son.
What different issues would you counsel I do to assist her know I am keen on her?
— LUCKY GUY IN FLORIDA
DEAR LUCKY GUY: Your spouse in all probability already is aware of. However in the event you apologize if you fly off the deal with, present affection, and inform her each day how a lot you like her and the way blessed you’re feeling to have her in your life, it would convey the message you wish to ship.
DEAR ABBY: I lately reconnected with a colleague from work. We have been pleasant, however not likely what I might name mates.
We reconnected on social media and have had lunch a couple of occasions.
The issue is, she has turn out to be a really unfavorable, aggressive, offended individual. She spends our time bashing household, former colleagues and nearly each service skilled she has encountered. She refuses to cease speaking about politics though I’ve made it clear I’m not snug with it.
The primary lunch was dangerous, however I believed I’d give it one other shot. The second lunch was worse, and I made a decision I wouldn’t attain out or make plans once more. Then she stated she didn’t have numerous mates, and that made me really feel inclined to attempt to befriend her.
Two or three lunches later, I simply can not maintain doing it. I’m making an attempt to rid myself of unfavorable influences, a few of whom are relations, and I don’t must proceed spending time with this particular person.
If she reaches out once more, ought to I maintain making excuses till she will get the trace, or ought to I be sincere?
I’m considerably afraid of her as a result of, seeing the way in which she bashes folks, I do know she would bash me to different folks we all know, and I might do with out that.
— MISTAKEN IN NORTH CAROLINA
DEAR MISTAKEN: There is no such thing as a purpose to be disagreeable to this troubled lady.
Begin being busy when she contacts you. If she traps you by saying one thing like, “If your schedule is too full this month, how about next month?” make a date together with her.
If she begins bashing others, cease her. Smile and say, “Let’s talk about something else. Something pleasant.”
Then proceed being much less accessible for longer stretches of time. If you turn out to be more durable to achieve typically sufficient, she’ll finally lose curiosity.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
