DEAR MISS MANNERS: I volunteer for a company that gives companies for homeless folks.
We offer gadgets reminiscent of garments, winter coats, sneakers, toddler method, diapers and private hygiene kits and likewise assist with transportation (reminiscent of bus passes) and help with getting an residence. As soon as somebody is housed, we offer “startup kits” with kitchen gadgets, mattress linens, towels, and many others., plus a grocery supply service. All that is free.
We even have a “free wall” that has odds and ends we have now obtained as donations. This wall usually contains present playing cards.
As soon as, I used to be placing some playing cards out when one other volunteer approached me, asking if she may take a card for herself as a result of it was so fairly. I used to be so shocked that I didn’t actually know what to say, so I stated I guessed she may. She then used it to assist herself to free gadgets.
This lady spent 12 days in France along with her husband and two sons. They traveled in another country a number of different instances final 12 months, so I do know she’s snug financially.
Now, she follows me to the free space every week, saying, “What goodies do you have today?” Up to now, she’s expressed her disappointment within the choices, however I concern she is going to ultimately ask once more.
Are you able to counsel one thing I can say to discourage her from taking issues meant to assist our homeless neighborhood?
GENTLE READER: You can’t decently accuse this particular person of stealing from the homeless — which, Miss Manners realizes, is probably going what she is relying on.
However you may counsel there was a miscommunication: “I am so sorry, I should have been more clear when you asked for that card. These items are meant for the indigent. They are not for us.”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m discovering that at any time when I am going out to a social occasion, or perhaps a restaurant, I’m both being captured by a digital camera or somebody has taken candid photos with out my information.
Previously, I had at all times assumed that picture-taking was a matter of consent and good manners. I like photos, however really feel I have to be prepared for them.
Once more, simply this weekend, a good friend despatched me a few photographs she took whereas I used to be speaking to mutual pals at a celebration. I hadn’t identified they had been being taken. I didn’t need to appear troublesome, so I stated “thanks” and didn’t remark additional, however I might have most popular to have been requested.
It might take too lengthy to listing the venues at which this appears to occur nowadays. I’m wondering if we have to enter areas with consent types in hand.
GENTLE READER: A barely extra sensible strategy is to make it exhausting on the photographer.
Miss Manners’ logic is straightforward sufficient for somebody dedicated to social media to comply with: It’s rude to take {a photograph} with out asking permission. Your good friend just isn’t a impolite particular person; subsequently, if their digital camera seems to be pointing your approach, that have to be a mistake. As such, when you flip away, or in case your hand covers your face, you aren’t deliberately ruining their shot.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her electronic mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or via postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
