DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve a good friend who by no means suggestions once we exit to eat, and actually, it’s beginning to hassle me.
I perceive it a bit extra when she’s at a restaurant and ordering on the counter, however even at full-service eating places the place the waitstaff is taking our orders, refilling our drinks and bringing out our meals, she doesn’t tip in any respect.
I discover it actually irritating, particularly as a result of I do know she has an honest wage and might completely afford to tip.
It’s awkward as a result of I don’t know whether or not to name her out on it or preserve protecting the tip myself to keep away from embarrassing her. I’ve tried hinting at it earlier than, however she both ignores it or brushes it off.
I don’t wish to make an enormous deal out of it, however I additionally really feel unhealthy for the servers who’re doing their jobs and never getting tipped pretty. I was a server and relied on suggestions to have the ability to pay my lease and different payments, so I understand how it feels to be stiffed.
Ought to I convey it up instantly, or is that this one thing I’ve to just accept about her?
— Non-Tipper
DEAR NON-TIPPER: No have to tiptoe round this. Communicate to your good friend instantly, and inform her your observations and the way you’re feeling about her conduct.
In america, it’s customary for tricks to be a part of the price of eating out. The usual tip is someplace between 15% to twenty% of the particular worth of the meal (not counting any coupons or reductions). And, as you level out, the service workers counts on that cash as important earnings.
In case your good friend is not going to rethink including a tip to her meal, you must cease going out to eat along with her. It’s not your accountability to cowl her, nor ought to it’s a must to really feel uncomfortable as a result of she refuses to comply with restaurant protocol.
Will she get mad at you? Possibly. That’s when you should use your private instance of getting been a server who relied on suggestions for earnings to place a superb level on this matter.
DEAR HARRIETTE: In response to “Baby Balance,” the reader who was discovering it exhausting to focus after returning to work post-maternity go away, I’m going to be within the minority right here and recommend she grow to be a stay-at-home mother for just a few years.
If she’s planning on having one other child, it’d make monetary sense to remain dwelling, given the price of good-quality daycare. She ought to sit down along with her accomplice and give you a plan.
It takes lots of monetary sacrifice, however she gained’t remorse it. Others could disagree, however that’s my expertise.
— SAHM
DEAR SAHM: Sitting down and doing the maths can present you what your subsequent greatest steps could also be. Given the price of daycare in lots of cities and doubtful security of a few of them, you might be proper to recommend this as a severe consideration.
Again within the day, there was one thing referred to as “family planning” that was beneficial to all {couples} who wished to have youngsters. A part of the technique was that they need to take a look at their general objectives and sources to map out a solution to develop a household as responsibly and comfortably as doable. Sure, sacrifice is at all times a part of it, however this resolution has lengthy been a viable possibility.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist folks entry and activate their goals. You’ll be able to ship inquiries to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
