DEAR ABBY: I’ve identified my buddy “Buddy” since junior excessive, and our wives get alongside effectively. His older daughter, “Edie,” is 11; my daughters are 10 and 13.
We dwell shut to one another, and that’s nice, however its a nightmare when Edie is at our home. She’s imply, smug, disobedient and extremely impolite.
My spouse and I like spending time with Buddy and his spouse. Their youthful daughter is 3 and cute, although additionally very spoiled.
We don’t wish to jeopardize our friendship, however it’s beginning to put on on us to have Edie right here with out going off on them about her habits.
How can we carry this to their consideration with out it seeming like we’re critiquing their parenting and upsetting them?
— FED UP IN ILLINOIS
DEAR FED UP: Is Edie imply, smug, disobedient and impolite within the presence of her dad and mom, or has she been invited to spend time together with your women individually?
If it’s the latter and also you don’t need Edie to negatively affect your women by modeling dangerous habits, clarify to her that you’ve got “certain rules” at your home and what they’re. Make sure that she is aware of that if she will’t comply with the principles she received’t be invited once more.
If Edie behaves this badly in her dad and mom’ presence, inform Buddy and his spouse privately that though you worth their friendship, you now not need their daughter over there since you don’t need her habits to affect your personal children.
DEAR ABBY: I’ve been divorced for 13 years and have been courting “Paul” for the final 5 years.
Paul is sort, helps with issues round the home and loves my family and friends. We share many widespread pursuits and luxuriate in being collectively. We are actually contemplating shifting to the subsequent step: marriage. We already dwell collectively.
The issue is that Paul will not be financially accountable. He helps pay the payments, and we alternate choosing up the tab after we exit. The home and belongings are in my identify. I earn greater than he does, which is not any large deal, however I would not have retirement arrange or nice insurance coverage. If we had been married, it could assist my insurance coverage issues.
A part of the explanation for my divorce was my ex’s incapacity to handle cash, which obtained us right into a world of debt. I don’t wish to undergo that once more.
I’d like to marry Paul however don’t wish to tackle his monetary debt. What’s the correct choice to make?
— STUCK ON THIS IN WISCONSIN
DEAR STUCK: The fitting factor so that you can do could be to debate this with an lawyer who will help you determine when you actually wish to be legally married to Paul.
Marrying somebody to get on his insurance coverage will not be the correct technique to go. Speaking with an insurance coverage agent a few program for which you may be eligible could be not solely enlightening, but additionally advantageous.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
