DEAR ABBY: We misplaced our 16-year-old daughter two years in the past to leukemia. It’s been a troublesome two years.
I’m writing to ask if there are guidelines of etiquette for visiting a beloved one on the cemetery?
We go frequently. I beautify the realm in entrance of her stone with vacation or seasonally acceptable decorations. Different members of the family and associates go to as nicely, and most go away little trinkets or contemporary flowers that I choose up and throw away once they wither, or carry house and put in our daughter’s room.
My drawback is, one member of the family opens playing cards which were left there for my daughter, and places all types of low cost decorations round her grave. Just lately, they put decorations immediately on her headstone which left massive stains. We are actually left looking for an expert to take away the harm, or her stone will have to be changed.
I’m beside myself. That is the place I’m going to speak to my daughter to really feel nearer to her. It took a yr for her stone to be set. I took my time selecting simply the fitting etchings and movie, and it’s a stone befitting our stunning angel.
Would it not be unsuitable to set guidelines as to what folks can and might’t go away when visiting my daughter’s last resting place? Can I inform somebody they’re now not welcome to go to?
— PROTECTIVE IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR PROTECTIVE: Please settle for my deepest sympathy for the lack of your daughter.
I hope the relative who broken her gravestone apologized for it and volunteered to pay for the companies of the skilled cleaner. If not, you must counsel it. And when you are at it, you can even clarify what sort of mementos you are feeling are acceptable on the gravesite.
Perceive, nevertheless, that when you have the fitting to state your preferences, until there’s a guard watching your daughter’s last resting place, there’s no assure they are going to be revered.
DEAR ABBY: All of us meet acquaintances and say, “Let’s grab dinner.” We intend to comply with by means of however neglect.
Some time again, my spouse and I made a listing of 10 different {couples} we needed to know higher, and we organized a bunch dinner. All of us selected a rotation: On the third Saturday of every month, a pair would host the group at a restaurant.
We don’t meet in December, and, sure, generally solely six {couples} attend, nevertheless it’s typically all of us. Throughout COVID we gathered by Zoom. That is our twenty fifth yr, and we now have not missed a month.
It’s not in regards to the meals — it’s a couple of caring group of associates sharing with one another. Abby, I believed you would possibly wish to print this to encourage others.
— ONE HOST IN INDIANA
DEAR HOST: I feel the lesson right here is that somebody must be proactive and really make plans reasonably than accept good intentions.
You probably did everybody, together with your self, an amazing favor. Loneliness and isolation are critical issues for a lot of.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
