It’s 2020, and Douglas Spreng is on a mission — to discover a romantic companion.
Recent off of his second divorce, the 81-year-old retiree had spent most of that 12 months on a courting web site. He was searching for somebody who lived close by, meshed nicely together with his character and loved the identical hobbies he did, like touring and watching films.
“I just made it my top priority,” Spreng recalled. “I really, really did want to have a companion.”
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He noticed possibly 20 prospects that 12 months, even making it a rule to satisfy every girl in individual at the least two occasions earlier than deciding whether or not to proceed. They have been all good dates, he mentioned, however nothing labored out.
Then a good friend advisable an alternative choice to on-line courting: Shannon’s Circle, a San Francisco-based matchmaking service run by Shannon Lundgren. For just a few thousand {dollars}, the Harvard MBA alum may curate an inventory of customized prospects for Spreng. Her web site marketed an 80% success charge for locating relationships.
Spreng was intrigued by the concept however determined to not go down the matchmaker route till he developed a bit extra expertise within the courting discipline.
In 2021, he discovered his manner into the circle.
In an age the place alternatives to search out love in individual are dwindling and emotional fatigue from utilizing courting apps is rising, some Bay Space residents resembling Spreng have turned to the time-honored custom of matchmaking to satisfy their soulmates. However there’s additionally resistance from those that really feel that discovering a accomplice ought to be left in their very own palms.
A matchmaker’s objective is easy: to assist a singleton discover a romantic accomplice. However extra work goes into it than one would possibly suppose, in line with Lundgren. Matchmakers take the time to grasp their shopper’s character, values and objectives earlier than introducing them to somebody primarily based on their compatibility and desired traits.
“They’re experts that really can take a lot of the time, angst and frustration out of finding your ‘needle in the haystack,’ “she said. “They find quality dates for you so that you don’t have to swipe through thousand of profiles on your own, or try to find someone in real life on your own.”
There are greater than 2,000 matchmakers throughout the nation, and the Bay Space boasts greater than a dozen companies scattered throughout San Francisco and the South and East Bay. Some are regionally owned, like Shannon’s Circle, however others are branches of nationwide, and even worldwide, matchmaking empires.
Within the upcoming years, worldwide matchmaking companies revenues are predicted to develop a median of three.5% yearly, in line with trade information. The occupation has a worldwide estimated price of $1.2 billion to $1.5 billion, with almost half of the market within the U.S.
Even throughout the COVID-19 pandemic, trade trackers state that 73% of matchmakers have been nonetheless assembly purchasers. And demand solely elevated.
“Definitely during the pandemic, it skyrocketed,” Lundgren mentioned.
Every month, round 40 to 50 folks will signal as much as be a part of Shannon’s Circle’s database of singles, however Lundgren will solely take 20 purchasers at a time, she mentioned. The standard matchmaking course of can take between six months to a 12 months. The worth for her companies varies relying on every shopper’s search, with packages falling within the five-figure vary.
“It’s very intimate, the process of helping someone find their person,” she mentioned. “You want to make sure who you take on you truly, truly can help.”
The matchmaking process begins with Lundgren organising a session along with her shopper to raised perceive their background, pursuits and present way of life, amongst different matters. She’ll dive into their relationship historical past, and scope out what kind of individual her purchasers hope to satisfy.
Then Lundgren faucets into her unique database of accessible singles within the space to seek for the appropriate individual. When she locates and screens a possible date, she’ll attain out to the shopper to substantiate mutual curiosity earlier than introducing them.
Lundgren collects suggestions from each events after every date to assist refine their search. If her purchasers hit it off instantly, she’ll stick round for a bit bit earlier than finally stepping again and letting love take its course.
Simply as in any courting scenario, it could actually take time for a match to kind. Even Spreng went via a number of dates on Shannon’s Circle earlier than lastly assembly Peggy Lucchesi, 77 — often known as “The One.”
Lucchesi had moved to Lafayette from New Jersey in 2014 to reside along with her daughter and grandkids. She had arrange a profile via Linx Relationship, a Menlo Park-based matchmaking service, which Lundgren discovered when she reached out to Linx in hopes of discovering extra matches.
Spreng’s first assembly with Lucchesi was purported to be a 45-minute get-to-know-you Zoom name. As a substitute, they talked for 2 hours. On their first date just a few days later, they met at Lucchesi’s daughter’s residence for lunch and a summertime swim. By the third or fourth month of courting, Lucchesi had moved in with Spreng in Los Altos.
“When we were together just talking, or doing stuff together, we just flowed,” Spreng mentioned. “It was amazing,”
The pair additionally shared related pursuits. Collectively they’ve traveled to Large Sur and Santa Barbara, Turkey and Italy. Not solely are each eager on films, they’ve additionally hosted a number of Oscar events full with competitions and mini-trophies.
They tied the knot in August 2024, with a marriage reception on the Los Altos Golf and Nation Membership, surrounded by family and friends. It’s a chance he may need missed, Spreng mentioned, if it wasn’t for Shannon’s Circle.
“Who knows, I could still be looking — or maybe given up by now and decided I was just going to be a bachelor for the rest of my life,” he mentioned. “Fortunately, it was just the opposite.”
However not everybody who pays to make use of a matchmaker is offered on its prospects. For the previous few years, San Jose resident Jossolyn Koster has tried to search out love via a number of worldwide matchmaking companies, together with SEI Membership and Millionaire Match.
The 39-year-old finally referred to as it quits for varied causes: communication points with matchmakers, suitors who didn’t work out and dear month-to-month funds for his or her companies.
“I’ve had much better luck on dating apps than I have on this matchmaking journey,” she mentioned.
Koster thinks the idea of matchmaking will be useful, however provided that the individual trusts and is aware of the true personalities of the events they’re making an attempt to arrange. In any other case, she mentioned, it’s not perfect.
“Having a third party who doesn’t know anything about each of those parties, beyond what those parties tell them and self-reporting, is very skewed and very biased” she mentioned. “I think it is not the most helpful mechanism to use.”
After which there are these like Millbrae resident Stephen Orquiza, who see matchmaking companies as simply one other instrument within the toolbox folks can use to search out romance.
The only 32-year-old usually opts for native speed-dating occasions and the occasional courting apps, which appear to be the one choices as of late, he mentioned. Orquiza mentioned he’s open to utilizing a matchmaking service however doesn’t suppose an excessive amount of of its guarantees.
“If I have the chance, I would try it,” he mentioned. “If it works, it works. But if not, no hard feelings.”
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