DEAR ABBY: I’m not too long ago separated, and my divorce will likely be ultimate quickly.
I’ve met a girl I didn’t even know may exist. She’s good for me. I’ve fallen for her, and it’s mutual.
The issue is, she lives an hour and a half away and might’t drive at night time because of a medical situation. The opposite subject is the truth that her father simply handed away. She’s a widow residing together with her poisonous mom.
We each need this to work, however she wants time and house. I’m keen to present it to her as a result of I imagine she is completely price it.
That is the second severe relationship in my life. My ex and I had been collectively for many years, however amongst different unhealthy issues, she cheated on me.
I’m questioning if in case you have some recommendation for me. This new girl is my true “unicorn.” I’d do something for her. I wish to be together with her, and she or he says the identical, however although her mom is poisonous, she doesn’t appear to wish to go away her and the unhealthy state of affairs she’s in.
It’s early, I do know, however I’m keen to attend. We have now a lot in widespread. She hasn’t requested for something besides time and house, however I’m nearly 40. (She’s a bit older.)
I’m so clueless with relationships. I’m scared and excited. We wish to be a household with a house. Please assist me out right here.
— CONFUSED IN SOUTH CAROLINA
DEAR CONFUSED: It’s essential to summon sufficient persistence for all of this to play out. You might be nonetheless married, and, frankly, you want time to regain your steadiness after a nasty marriage that lasted many years.
Whereas I’m certain your “unicorn” is a really particular girl, she wants time to grieve her father’s demise and to determine whether or not she needs to dwell aside from her mom — who, face it, could at all times be a part of the bundle deal.
Happiness and pleasure are intoxicating. Don’t act impetuously. Take this very slowly. These lengthy, inconvenient drives could make it easier to to realize perspective.
With time, if that is as proper as you’re hoping will probably be, you’ll have the joyful ending you’re hoping for.
DEAR ABBY: My good friend invitations me for dinner usually, and I hold developing with imprecise excuses about why I can’t come.
The explanation for my reluctance is her poor kitchen hygiene.
The fridge at all times has previous meals and spillage, and her kitchen counters and sink are affected by soiled dishes and leftovers. She doesn’t wash her fingers earlier than cooking, both.
I’ve helped her clear her kitchen many instances whereas visiting, pondering she maybe simply wanted steering, however her previous habits stick.
It feels awkward and inappropriate to inform her the rationale for my steady cancellations. How would you proceed?
— FRIEND IN STICKY SITUATION
DEAR FRIEND: You aren’t going to alter her. The way in which to deal with this may be to ask her over to your house for dinner, conform to have your meals at a restaurant or convey carryout to her place.
TO MY MUSLIM READERS: At sunset, it’s time for the breaking of the Ramadan quick. Joyful Eid al-Fitr, everybody. — LOVE, ABBY
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
