DEAR MISS MANNERS: At a cocktail party at our dwelling, my husband left the desk momentarily, and a visitor picked up his mug of espresso to have a look at the novelty message on it.
When my husband returned, he was offended, stating that it’s unhealthy manners to the touch another person’s cup.
Is that so? Does the message on the mug invite inspection? Or was the visitor unforgivably impolite?
GENTLE READER: Unforgivably? As in, so unhealthy as to by no means be excused, ever?
Miss Manners agrees there may be an indelicacy to dealing with one other diner’s place settings. But when this had been a proper dinner, the espresso would have been served afterwards — and in china, not a witty mug.
Household and pals can anticipate a bit extra understanding.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My pals, all gainfully employed adults, will typically invite a gaggle out to dinner or drinks to have fun an event, like a birthday or skilled milestone.
In some instances, it’s communicated that it will likely be a “no-host event,” with friends paying for themselves. If not, it’s understood that the host will deal with the group.
Twice in current months, when the verify got here, one of many friends has proclaimed that the group would deal with the host. There may be not a lot to be carried out within the second with out wanting low-cost or ungenerous, however I really feel aggravated that one individual has unilaterally decided for which I’ve to pay.
Is there something to be carried out to keep away from this state of affairs?
GENTLE READER: Your folks could also be gainfully employed, however they don’t seem to be what Miss Manners would name adults. Anybody who thinks they’ll get away with such conduct and nonetheless have pals has a lot maturing to do.
The instant resolution, if you don’t really feel like dropping such individuals completely, is to say no invites to “milestone” occasions — which appear to be growing at an alarming charge.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it correct for firm staff to handle prospects by their given names?
Banks do it, name facilities do it, salespeople do it. I at all times recognize being known as “Mr. Smith” as an alternative of simply “Bob,” however it not often occurs.
When known as “Bob,” I typically feign shock and say, “Oh! Do I know you personally?” After they say no, I reply, “When you called me by my given name, I thought perhaps we knew each other.” Or typically I merely reply, “It’s Mr. Smith.”
Miss Manners, kindly inform all people off who commits this lethal sin, and reward me for making an attempt to shore up conventional manners. Certainly that’s not an excessive amount of to ask.
GENTLE READER: Definitely that’s how Miss Manners prefers to be addressed by firm staff. However lately, she feels some sympathy for firm staff who’re, as you say, instructed off frequently — it doesn’t matter what they do.
The right type of tackle is one that’s respectful and that the shopper prefers — for themselves. Notice that this courtesy doesn’t prolong to permitting them to dictate the type of tackle for everybody else.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e-mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by means of postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
