DEAR MISS MANNERS: My spouse and I visited a good friend and her new accomplice for the weekend. Her accomplice drove us to an outing about 20 miles away and went 95 mph on the freeway.
Regardless of fearing for our lives, we stated nothing. On the best way again, nevertheless, I politely requested the accomplice if he might please hold his pace beneath 80 mph.
He instantly turned indignant, received out of the automobile and advised me I ought to drive and that he would sit within the again with my spouse. I advised him I’d not drive and to simply please obey the pace limits.
After a heated change, he coldly received again within the automobile, drove extra slowly, and by no means stated one other phrase for the remainder of the journey. It was very uncomfortable. Was I proper to talk up?
GENTLE READER: If an affordable individual would really feel that the choice to talking up would have been to be discovered lifeless by the aspect of the highway when the native constabulary made their rounds Monday morning, then this isn’t an etiquette query.
The etiquette query is: What to do after everybody received again within the automobile?
Miss Manners’ reply is: Play dumb. After sufficient time has handed to permit everybody to get better their bearings, resume as regular an interplay along with your good friend as you’ll be able to muster — talking about different issues for the remainder of the weekend.
It gained’t idiot anybody, however it’s a must to cross the time a way, you aren’t prone to settle for a second invitation, and it’s higher than enjoying lifeless.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve acquired a number of invites to giant, deliberate occasions through group textual content.
Whether or not for a retirement get together, bridal bathe or anniversary celebration, every message included the picture of an invite, with the usual design and presentation. This indicated a certain quantity of pomp and circumstance and prompted a response.
I really admire this new norm, as I discover that I’m extra prone to instantly seek the advice of my calendar and concern a well timed response than I do with mailed invites. I additionally like that I get to see the remainder of the visitor checklist.
Nevertheless, with out an envelope or different specification of addressees, it’s normally unclear which members of my family are included within the invitation. I don’t need to seem to be I’m attempting to ask my kids to an occasion that’s not supposed for them, however having to rearrange childcare is commonly a figuring out issue for whether or not we attend.
Is there a well mannered strategy to ask for clarification on this level?
GENTLE READER: Ship a separate textual content to the host asking if kids are included within the invitation. Be aware the phrasing: You aren’t asking for an exception on your kids, however somewhat if the occasion contains kids typically.
After you have gotten a response, thank the host for the invitation and say you’ll verify calendars and reply shortly. Miss Manners is aware of that your response to the occasion will depend on whether or not the kids have been invited, however there is no such thing as a purpose to let the host know that.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e mail, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or by means of postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
