DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been courting somebody for the previous yr, and I believe we make an important pair. For plenty of causes, I really feel like he’s my particular person.
Over time, we’ve had some conversations about what the following step can be between us, and though he’s instructed me that he loves me, he’s additionally expressed that he’s unsure about committing to a monogamous relationship.
In our newest dialog, he lastly pitched the query I feared, and he requested me to be in an open relationship.
He’s invited me to ascertain boundaries that he would fortunately abide by and says that I’m the one one he can be emotionally connected to.
Ought to I give this a attempt, or am I sure to get damage?
— Polyamorous Proposal
DEAR POLYAMOROUS PROPOSAL: Ask your self what you need out of this union. Do you’re feeling that you would be able to be in an intimate relationship with this man if he’s concerned with others? How would you’re feeling in the event you knew he was going to spend time with another person?
He can’t assure that he received’t get emotionally connected to a different particular person. What’s extra necessary, although, is how you’ll be able to deal with understanding what’s or might be taking place.
I’ll give your boyfriend this: Fairly than dishonest and mendacity about it, he’s being upfront with you about his wishes and intentions. You now have to be trustworthy with your self about whether or not that is one thing that you would be able to or need to deal with.
DEAR HARRIETTE: A lady at my job has been giving me hell.
She works nonstop. She’s typically sending emails at 9 p.m. or 4 a.m. — and he or she truly expects a response! Not too long ago she chewed out considered one of my colleagues as a result of she requested one thing at 6 a.m. and didn’t hear again till 8 a.m., which continues to be exterior of our regular enterprise hours.
It might come as no shock however, sure, she is single and a bit older. She has thrown her complete self into work and expects all people else to do the identical.
Her workforce is made up of all types of individuals, from younger people who find themselves simply beginning their careers to single mother and father with younger youngsters and different individuals who don’t essentially put work over the whole lot regardless that they do a great job.
I’m fearful that folks could begin to depart due to how she’s treating them.
How can I give suggestions to somebody who’s above me with out having to fret about backlash?
— Increased Rank
DEAR HIGHER RANK: When you have a relationship with this particular person, you could possibly pull her apart and ask her in the event you can share one thing delicate along with her.
After getting her blessing, inform her that you’ve got observed that she works odd hours and has turn out to be identified for anticipating staffers to reply instantly, exterior of standard workplace hours. Some workforce members are getting annoyed, and you are worried that it’s impacting their perspective and productiveness. Let her take it from there.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist individuals entry and activate their goals. You possibly can ship inquiries to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
