DEAR MISS MANNERS: I work as an usher at a preferred discipline home that hosts a lot of sporting and leisure occasions (concert events, comedy reveals, and many others.). One of many guidelines is that we aren’t allowed to just accept ideas.
Once in a while, a visitor will supply a tip, often for one thing I’ve performed above and past merely serving to them discover their seat. In these cases, I politely thank them for his or her kindness however allow them to know that it’s in opposition to the coverage of the venue.
More often than not that’s adequate, however now and again, a patron will insist that I take the cash, regularly commenting that “no one will know.”
I’m not certain what to say after they proceed to push. I definitely don’t want to be impolite (and I do sincerely respect their generosity), however neither do I need to violate the foundations and settle for the cash.
What do you suggest I say to individuals who demand that I settle for a tip?
GENTLE READER: Little doubt such individuals assume they’re conferring a benevolence on you in advising you to defy your employer sneakily. And they’re unlikely to think about any motive for refusing cash aside from the worry of getting caught.
As Miss Manners has noticed, the tipping system brings out the worst in everybody. Properly, not everybody; not you.
The response to “No one will know” needs to be a regretful little smile and the remark, “But I would know.”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Would it not be acceptable to incorporate a P.S. on an invite that states “Failure to respond will be considered a ‘NO, cannot attend,’ and plans will be finalized accordingly”?
I’m merely bored with the irresponsibility of many invitees.
GENTLE READER: Most likely not as drained as Miss Manners is of stating how impolite it’s to disregard affords of hospitality.
However, she doesn’t take care of threats, and reminders are usually ignored. What about sending those that haven’t answered the message “Sorry we won’t see you on the 10th?”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My beloved and I are planning a small, intimate wedding ceremony.
Somewhat than have interaction a printer, I’m planning to handwrite letters to every invited visitor, sharing the small print of the celebration and asking them to attend.
My mom is anxious that the shortage of a proper printed invitation could be seen as a breach in etiquette. Are you able to please advise us?
GENTLE READER: Again at any time when engraving was invented, it could have been thought-about a breach of etiquette to make use of it as an alternative of handwriting. And Miss Manners assures you that the hand nonetheless outranks the mechanical course of, irrespective of how costly.
As that is an intimate wedding ceremony, you needn’t mimic the formal, third-person wording however, in case you want, merely write first-person letters stating your want to have them attend.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: What’s your opinion of sprinkle events?
GENTLE READER: That a lot as she appreciates firming down the same old bathe, Miss Manners finds the identify sadly vivid in reference to infants.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her electronic mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
