DEAR ABBY: My spouse is a superb and loving individual. She has just one fault, however it drives me loopy:
Our home is properly maintained, however she is a closet slob.
Each closet, each cupboard, each drawer and each space for storing is filled with junk. Her walk-in closet is piled waist-high with stuff. You’ll be able to’t stroll in there. You can also’t open a single drawer in the home due to the stuff crammed inside.
These aren’t treasured belongings. It’s merely junk that hasn’t been utilized in 15 years.
I can’t inform you the variety of occasions I’ve needed to transfer bins round to get to one thing I want or to repair one thing.
I’ve tried speaking to her about it, writing her a letter about my emotions and simply getting mad. Nothing works.
My anger has constructed to the purpose the place I can not take it any longer. Each time I stumble throughout the mess, I get offended. It’s now not rational, and I’m even dropping sleep over it.
My spouse treasures her possessions greater than she treasures me or our relationship. What can I do?
— BLOCKED IN MONTANA
DEAR BLOCKED: Since you’re dropping sleep over this and are able to throw within the towel, deal with your considerations to your spouse in these phrases. Inform her that since you aren’t speaking properly on this topic, you need the 2 of you to seek the advice of a licensed marriage and household therapist.
Individuals who have the tendency to hoard the way in which your spouse does typically endure from nervousness, melancholy or another emotional drawback. There’s assist for it, thank heavens. However it’s a must to ask for it, and your spouse needs to be keen.
DEAR ABBY: I’ve been married to “Chuck” for 40 years. We’ve had a reasonably first rate life collectively, although Chuck drank closely for 35 of these years.
Now, as we enter our twilight years, he has skilled numerous medical issues, which have prompted him to cease ingesting altogether. Though it is a good factor, I nonetheless wish to have a drink every so often.
Once I imbibe (not more than two or three), Chuck turns into irritable and begins fights. There isn’t a violence, however he snaps, swears after which offers me the silent therapy.
Please advise me about tips on how to deal with this. I’ve been making an attempt to “sneak” my drinks behind his again, however why ought to I?
By the way in which, I’ve contributed greater than my justifiable share financially and have taken on all home duty on this relationship, just about since Day One. Am I caught with Chuck?
— LIGHT DRINKER IN NORTH CAROLINA
DEAR LIGHT DRINKER: Have you ever not learn something the previous surgeon normal posted on the web about alcohol consumption? Greater than one drink a day for ladies could improve the probability of most cancers of the breast, esophagus, abdomen, pancreas and colon. You could wish to think about curbing your alcohol consumption.
The truth that seeing you imbibe has such a unfavorable impact in your husband could also be a sign that his sobriety is shaky.
In the event you actually really feel the necessity to have an alcoholic beverage (or two or three), think about doing it away from the home with girls buddies.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
