DEAR MISS MANNERS: On my daughter’s wedding ceremony day, the climate was good, as was the venue and all preparations.
A number of hours earlier than the ceremony, the groom was arrested on an lively warrant. (That’s a difficulty for one more day.)
We had been already on the venue. The bridal get together was getting dressed and photographs had been being taken whereas the bride was on the cellphone with an legal professional, trying to have the groom launched.
Friends had been already arriving because it was greater than an hour’s drive for all of them.
As a result of we had been hopeful that the groom could be launched, and since the company had been already there and we couldn’t cancel, we determined to proceed with the cocktail hour and reception, hoping to carry the ceremony as soon as the groom arrived.
The groom was not launched. The marriage ceremony by no means passed off.
I advised my daughter to return all financial items. She feels they need to be saved because the couple “will be getting married eventually.”
I’m torn. Sure, we did have a beautiful get together, though we weren’t in a really celebratory temper. However I really feel that they’re holding the items beneath false pretenses.
GENTLE READER: Sure, you actually did entertain your company. They’re nonetheless speaking about it.
However after all, you’re proper that your daughter can not hold the marriage items on the grounds that the company obtained their cash’s price. The rule is that presents are returned if the marriage doesn’t happen.
However in sympathy with the would-be bride, Miss Manners (who’s weak from politely suppressing a scream of “What did he do?“) is happy to have a way around this.
As your daughter does intend to marry him when possible, she can write charming notes to the guests, apologizing for the mix-up and stating that she looks forward to seeing them when she is able to set a date for the postponed wedding.
However, she must promise that she will invite all the same people to the postponed wedding, and that if she decides to postpone indefinitely, she will return all wedding presents, monetary and otherwise. They should not be spent on bail.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: As I was leaving a grocery store, a young man approached me and asked me to donate to a local high school baseball team. I apologized and told him that I do not carry cash.
I have specific causes that I donate to annually, but I am constantly being stopped at the door or asked to round up at the register.
What is a polite way to say no to a donation request?
GENTLE READER: There is no need to apologize or explain. Miss Manners presumes you don’t want the young man to show up at your house, where you keep your cash.
We assume that sensible people contribute to causes they know and care about, rather than simply to anyone who happens to ask. Therefore, you need only say pleasantly, “Thank you, but no.” And to be further good, you possibly can add, “I wish you good luck with it.”
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her electronic mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or via postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
