DEAR MISS MANNERS: We threw a small potluck birthday lunch within the break room for one in every of our co-workers.
About 4 of us contributed; all of us work immediately together with her and know her the most effective.
We put the leftovers within the fridge, and later within the day, a co-worker who hadn’t been on the celebration helped himself to them.
I’d talked about that we had been every planning to take our personal leftovers dwelling, however he mentioned as soon as one thing is shared in a public place, it turns into public property. Is that this an actual rule?
GENTLE READER: No.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve a average listening to loss on one aspect and fairly extreme listening to loss on the opposite aspect.
A number of people don’t know I’ve an issue, as a result of the listening to aids they make now are nice — arduous to see, and my hair covers them. Nevertheless, my listening to is usually affected by issues like seasonal allergic reactions, and I’m typically the final to comprehend.
I used to be speaking with some associates, partly in Spanish (my second language) and partly in English, with some fellow lecturers. I requested my buddy a query in English, not realizing somebody on my deafer aspect had began speaking.
He had made a joke in Spanish and I didn’t fairly catch what was happening. After he left, my buddy actually doubled down on how impolite I had been.
Clearly I felt sorry as quickly as I understood, which in all probability took somewhat additional time as a result of language barrier. I informed her I actually didn’t hear him communicate and I might by no means have interrupted him if I had. She continued to inform me she felt dangerous for him and that I used to be impolite.
In fact, I informed the opposite buddy later that I hadn’t heard him and I used to be sorry for making a clumsy second. He was actually candy about it as a result of he is aware of I’m not impolite by nature.
I do know listening to loss may be arduous to see and generally troublesome to foretell, relying on the character of it. However I’m wondering if my buddy, who insisted on calling me impolite even after I defined that I couldn’t hear, is aware of how dangerous that sounds for people with a incapacity.
I considered telling her the way it comes throughout, however that might really feel like I used to be simply making an attempt to get sympathy. I simply wouldn’t need her to indicate the identical lack of information to another person with a incapacity — for her sake, too. Am I mistaken?
GENTLE READER: Demonizing somebody with a incapacity is, in fact, unspeakably impolite. (So is demonizing somebody with no incapacity.)
However this may be settled with out resorting to such heavy artillery. Even when your listening to had been good and also you merely failed to listen to the joke due to a momentary lapse of consideration, what you probably did was not The Rudest Factor That Ever Occurred. It was a minor, unintentional infraction, erased by your subsequent apology.
It was far ruder of your buddy to dwell on it. Overlook about it and, if this particular person raises it once more, thank her and inform her you handled it.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
