DEAR HARRIETTE: My 7-year-old daughter’s hamster died final night time, and my husband needed to go purchase a brand new one which appeared precisely like her previous one so she wouldn’t discover that he had died.
I stated that it is a ridiculous thought; our daughter must learn to take care of conditions in life that make her unhappy.
We ended up arguing about it as a result of he thinks she’s too younger to deal with grief, whereas I consider shielding her from it should make issues more durable in the long term.
I wish to assist my daughter course of the loss in a wholesome manner by speaking about it and permitting her to grieve, however my husband insists that sparing her the unhappiness is the kinder method.
I do know that is only a small pet, however I really feel like how we deal with this second may form how she learns to deal with loss sooner or later.
How can we navigate this as mother and father? Ought to we’ve changed the hamster, or ought to we information her by way of this troublesome second?
— Dealing With Dying
DEAR DEALING WITH DEATH: So many individuals are to this point faraway from the cycle of life and demise as a part of our existence that folks usually encounter conditions like this.
I see each of your factors on this, however I agree with you: Youngsters do have to find out about these blunt info of life. Sure, your baby might be unhappy to be taught that the pet died, however then you’ll be able to speak about life and demise and the way lengthy animals often reside. You may talk about emotions and loss in easy ways in which your baby will perceive.
The larger subject right here, although, is getting on the identical web page as your husband. Preserve speaking to him till you’ll be able to attain a consensus.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I broke up with my girlfriend six months in the past as a result of we’d get into small arguments about each little factor. It brought about a number of pressure, and ultimately, I couldn’t take it anymore.
I believed I had moved on from her, however not too long ago, I noticed her holding palms with one other man, and I misplaced it.
I couldn’t inform if I used to be indignant that she had moved on from me or if I wasn’t over her.
Since then, I haven’t been capable of cease excited about her. A part of me wonders if I made a mistake by ending issues, however one other a part of me remembers how exhausting our fixed arguments have been. I don’t know if I’m feeling jealous, if my ego is bruised or if this implies I nonetheless have actual emotions for her.
Ought to I attempt to attain out to her, or is that this simply my coronary heart taking part in tips on me? How do I do know if I really miss her or simply the thought of being together with her?
— Noticed My Ex
DEAR SPOTTED MY EX: Chalk it as much as an ego bruise, and maintain shifting. Your ex appears to be pleased with another person. Let her be. Concentrate on the long run.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist individuals entry and activate their desires. You may ship inquiries to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
