DEAR MISS MANNERS: Do individuals say “How do you do?” anymore when being launched to somebody? The phrase appears to have pale away.
Whether it is now not used, what ought to I say when being launched to somebody new?
GENTLE READER: You might be proper about this conference’s having fallen into disuse.
It tended to confuse individuals as a result of it gave the impression to be a query, was however pronounced as if it have been a press release, and the right response was to not say how one was, however to repeat the comment.
So in all probability not price saving.
That makes your query an important one: What ought to one say?
A typical reply is “Pleased to meet you.” Only a few appear to recollect, or care, how declasse that phrase was as soon as thought of. (It nonetheless is in England, the place there was nationwide sneering when Carole Middleton, mom of the present Princess of Wales, mentioned it upon first assembly Queen Elizabeth.)
The rationale for objecting to this phrase is that one can’t know, when assembly a stranger, whether or not or not will probably be nice. That is just like the objection that “How do you do?” does probably not ask how anybody does.
Maybe we shouldn’t be subjecting mere conventions to such evaluation.
In the meantime, for lack of a greater answer, Miss Manners continues to puzzle individuals by saying “How do you do?” when assembly somebody.
In letter salutations, the “Hi” that has been changing the standard “Dear” (“Dear” being yet one more sufferer of such evaluation) is simply too cheeky for her.
Simply “Hello”? Possibly. However she is hoping a Light Reader will provide you with a greater answer.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My Daddy handed throughout COVID. I’ve two great-uncles, and my Daddy has three brothers who’re nonetheless with us. The oldest brother has accomplished rather a lot for me, each now and earlier than I misplaced each of my mother and father.
I’ve been seeing a person for a number of years now, and he has requested me to marry him. I instructed him sure, however that he has to fulfill my Daddy’s household and spend time with them and see if he feels the identical after that. He mentioned OK.
Which of my uncles or great-uncles ought to he speak to, and who walks me down the aisle?
GENTLE READER: Whomever you need, and as lots of them as you want.
As so many brides fail to grasp, the concept is to not solid a job, however to replicate a relationship. The oldest uncle appears a good selection, as he has accomplished rather a lot for you, and in addition as a result of he may now be thought of the pinnacle of the household.
However as you might be clearly so near your father’s household, Miss Manners would discover it charming for those who included all of them. A suitor who’s keen to face such a gaggle (though they’re prone to be well-disposed) ought to be a precious addition to the household.
And whereas your marriage ceremony friends could be amused to see a number of devoted escorts on the aisle, they need to additionally discover it very touching.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by means of postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
