DEAR MISS MANNERS: My boyfriend’s ex moved to our metropolis and requested to stick with us for every week whereas renovations had been being completed on her new condo.
Whereas she was right here, I discovered damaged consuming glasses within the rubbish, twice, hidden underneath a paper towel. After the second time, I stated it wasn’t a giant deal, however requested if she may tell us they had been there so we wouldn’t by accident lower ourselves.
She was offended and complained to my boyfriend, who stated it was impolite of me to say something.
Might I’ve dealt with it higher?
GENTLE READER: You dealt with each the state of affairs and, fortunately, the rubbish, remarkably effectively. Breaking issues and hiding the proof shouldn’t be well mannered visitor conduct.
Miss Manners hopes you are taking some solace, nevertheless, on this lady making it apparent why she is your boyfriend’s ex. She’s going to depart it as much as you to determine if his calling you impolite and siding along with her is worthy of creating him your ex, too.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I had an artwork present final summer time, the week earlier than my birthday.
An previous good friend stopped by and bought a really good glass platter (over $150) for her daughter. As she was paying for it, she instructed me that this sale was my birthday reward.
I smiled and stated “thank you.” I didn’t actually know the right way to react.
Then at Christmas, as I opened her reward, she instructed me she’d adopted the identical course of: She purchased the merchandise from her sister, known as the sale a present, then gave the merchandise to me. I smiled and thanked her (and questioned what her sister thought).
It’s so odd to me. I might somewhat not be given the reward of a sale.
I believe she feels that she’s supporting me and my artwork. It additionally may be a approach for her to chop again on spending, as she is giving two “gifts” for the value of 1.
It may be time to cease giving presents. I’m simply undecided the right way to inform her that her scheme doesn’t really feel like a present.
GENTLE READER: With the entire calls for and shenanigans related to trendy present-giving, Miss Manners is nearly inclined to agree with you. The act has all however misplaced its allure.
You could strive saying, “How kind of you to take an interest in my artwork. But I would never want you to purchase something merely as a favor if you would not otherwise do so. In that case, I am happier to sell it to a stranger.”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My brother’s grown youngster is transitioning from feminine to male and is now known as Gary. I really like Gary and settle for his decisions.
My brother is having a tough time. Gary has a toddler who calls him “Mum.”
My query is: Once I introduce Gary to somebody, do I name him my nephew or my niece?
GENTLE READER: Why not ask Gary?
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e-mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by way of postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
