DEAR ABBY: My brother simply bought engaged to the “WOAT” (Worst of All Time).
They’ve been courting for 2½ years, and no person within the household has something good to say about her.
Previously, he at all times had steady relationships with ladies we actually loved. However now he’s getting older, his mates are getting engaged, and it looks as if he’s feeling strain and settling.
They’re at all times arguing, and issues he by no means did earlier than he’s doing now — a number of job modifications, making much less time for household, and so forth.
Everybody thinks that, because the oldest brother, I ought to be the one to voice our considerations about her. Would it not be too drastic to inform him it’s a nasty concept?
I used to be going to say I help him if he can discover three redeeming qualities in her, as a result of none of us can discover one.
— NO FAN OF HER IN THE EAST
DEAR NO FAN: I don’t assume telling your just lately engaged brother that his fiancee is the “worst of all time” and nobody within the household can discover any redeeming qualities in her could be welcomed.
I do assume, nonetheless, that because the oldest sibling you might level out that you’re involved as a result of he and this lady argue loads, which is why you’re suggesting they search premarital counseling to move off any issues down the road. Then cross your fingers that he follows by.
DEAR ABBY: Despite the fact that we reside simply an hour away and want to have fun holidays with my aged dad and mom, they like to spend them with their mates.
This began when my household lived 14 hours away. We’d come dwelling for both Thanksgiving or Christmas annually. If we weren’t dwelling, my dad and mom bought along with a bunch of childless buddies. This labored out nice — they weren’t alone, and I didn’t really feel responsible.
We moved again dwelling three years in the past, primarily to be close to household once more. Nonetheless, my dad and mom now spend all the main holidays with their buddies, even when my household is dwelling alone. Then my mother asks me to host an alternate vacation so the household can get collectively.
Final yr, I attempted to speak it by along with her. I mentioned it was hurtful that she selected to spend holidays along with her mates and requested her to contemplate household plans first. However she was quickly as much as her outdated methods.
I’m 53, however I nonetheless need my mother and pop. What ought to I do?
— NEEDY IN MASSACHUSETTS
DEAR NEEDY: As a result of “talking it through” together with your mom hasn’t labored, it’s time so that you can begin making different plans for the main holidays.
You might be solely as dwelling alone as you need to be. You and your husband might journey or be a part of an area group and do some volunteering for these much less lucky than you in your group. It’s time to take a web page out of your mom’s playbook and do what she did, which is to declare some independence from her.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
