DEAR MISS MANNERS: I used to be taught by my mom that when one is being toasted, one doesn’t take a sip, as that’s quite like tooting one’s personal horn.
When my partner and I celebrated an anniversary with a celebration, the company toasted us with champagne.
After I didn’t sip, one of many company requested me why, implying that my marriage wasn’t one thing I wished celebrated. Yikes!
My decisions have been to “correct” the visitor — not considered one of my kids — or depart the impression that my marriage was lower than toast-worthy. Neither possibility appealed.
How would Miss Manners have dealt with the scenario? Or was my mom mistaken all these years in the past?
GENTLE READER: No, your mom was proper; you shouldn’t drink to yourselves. This ought to be compulsory info given to {couples} making use of for marriage licenses, as a result of not everyone seems to be fortunate sufficient to have such a educated mom.
Miss Manners doesn’t take care of the snippy comment you acquired, even when meant as a joke. The way in which to move off such feedback is to right away say, “And we would like to toast our dear friends,” thus enabling you to take a reputable sip.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I really like scrapbooking and bodily picture albums, and I’ve a number of proudly displayed on a shelf in my lounge.
We like to entertain, and whereas company normally see the albums on the shelf, they not often ask about them and nearly by no means pull them right down to look by way of!
The albums comprise pictures of household and pals by way of the years, and I’d like to share them. I don’t wish to commit the fake pas of forcing picture albums on others, however would it not be OK for me to strategically place one on my espresso desk, to subtly encourage of us to look by way of it?
GENTLE READER: That is the lower-tech model of passing round your phone, or, earlier than that, exhibiting house motion pictures of your kids’s birthday events and household holidays. Often, individuals solely tolerate this in hopes of exhibiting their very own photos.
However whereas Miss Manners believes you must let this notion go, she is going to do her obligation that can assist you.
Certain, depart an album or two on the espresso desk. However it’s not as if your lounge is a ready room, the place individuals will seize something, even previous medical journals, to learn.
What you are able to do is inform an amusing story about considered one of your mates or kin, after which ask, “Would you like to see a picture?” Your company can hardly say no. Once you open the album to the particular person talked about, you possibly can then hand it to your visitor, who could or could not look extra into it.
Simply please promise that you’ll take the album again as quickly as they attempt to return it.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Twenty-five years in the past, I adopted a 5-year-old boy from an abroad orphanage. Now he has made contact along with his household in his native nation. He has found he has 5 siblings and 7 nieces and nephews.
What relationship could I declare with these of us? My intent is to acknowledge his siblings as kids of mine as nicely, and his nieces and nephews as grandchildren.
A few of my kin have objected to my doing this. We agreed that we might observe your resolution. I’m hoping in your blessing!
GENTLE READER: Bless you.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by way of postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
