DEAR MISS MANNERS: My soon-to-be husband and I are planning our wedding ceremony, and are having a disagreement on tips on how to deal with the invites. We have now agreed to abide by your choice.
He says that as a result of it’s a homosexual wedding ceremony, we don’t must comply with custom and etiquette.
I say that no matter whether or not it’s a homosexual or straight wedding ceremony, our most necessary position as hosts is to make all of our visitors really feel welcomed and comfy, and that features placing all names on an invite — not “John Smith plus one.” (Plus-ones are a pet peeve of mine, so I’m unsure if I’m being solely goal.)
My feeling is that if we’re shut sufficient to ask John to our wedding ceremony, and we all know he’s single, we should always name John and ask him if he would like to attend the marriage solo and socialize with previous (and probably new) buddies, or if there’s anybody particular he wish to convey. If it’s the latter, we should always then deal with the invitation to them each, in order that his date feels welcomed.
GENTLE READER: Severely? You might be considering marrying somebody who says that manners don’t apply to homosexual {couples}? And never simply superficial bridal customs — a few of which, Miss Manners acknowledges, have develop into ridiculous — however the underlying precept of consideration for others?
Not less than he’s prepared to take heed to cause. So maybe there’s hope.
The “plus-one” matter is difficult. Established {couples} should be invited collectively, however permitting singles to ask their very own visitors is optionally available. Nevertheless, the courtesy of utilizing the names of all potential visitors, moderately than treating them as nameless add-ons, shouldn’t be.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: What’s the applicable factor to do or say when one’s restaurant order is fallacious?
After I had lunch with a gaggle of eight folks, the waiter didn’t write down any of our orders. That was not a very good begin.
He introduced me a spicy salad drenched in dressing, once I had requested for the non-spicy salad, dressing on the facet. Judging from the appears to be like on my colleagues’ faces, I used to be not the one one who acquired the fallacious order.
What would have been applicable to say? I didn’t need to be a whiner. Ought to I’ve stated, “Oh, dear, I must have gotten someone else’s order. Mine was …”?
I’m sure that writing down the orders would have helped. I merely ate the salad and stated nothing.
GENTLE READER: And you’re by no means going again to that restaurant, proper?
It’s within the curiosity of eating places to have dissatisfied prospects communicate up, in order that errors are corrected they usually go dwelling glad.
In different enterprise transactions, folks know that they’re entitled to get what they requested for, and never swallow others’ errors, so to talk. However they flip all humorous and squeamish about eating places.
Nevertheless, Miss Manners doesn’t think about this permission to critique the waiter. Maybe somebody within the kitchen was at fault. You need to merely state, politely, that you simply acquired an incorrect order.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her electronic mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
