DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve a roommate who’s extremely nosy, and it’s driving me loopy.
He’s at all times asking questions which can be method too private, and it’s beginning to make me uncomfortable in my own residence.
I attempt to be well mannered and pleasant, however he doesn’t appear to choose up on the truth that some issues are simply none of his enterprise. For instance, the opposite day he observed some medicine that I had left on the counter and requested me what it was for. I used to be caught off guard as a result of I didn’t suppose I ought to have to elucidate my non-public medical points to anybody, not to mention my roommate.
I attempted to dodge the query, however he saved urgent, and I finally modified the topic simply to get him to cease.
This isn’t the primary time one thing like this has occurred. He’s requested about my funds, my relationships and even my household, typically in a method that feels extra like prying than real curiosity.
I’m all for having a pleasant relationship with a roommate, however I really feel like there ought to be boundaries, and he’s persistently crossing them. How do I set boundaries with somebody like this with out turning it into an even bigger situation than it must be?
— Crossing the Line
DEAR CROSSING THE LINE: As quickly as you possibly can transfer out, do. You shouldn’t should dwell with somebody who doesn’t respect your privateness.
That stated, you reside with him now. Put money into a lockbox the place you possibly can put your whole necessary papers, drugs and different private gadgets in order that he can’t attain them underneath any circumstances. Put a lock in your bed room door should you can.
Speak to him instantly, and inform him it’s essential set clear home guidelines. These embody every part from family chores to non-public enterprise.
Let him know that your private life is off limits. Ask him to cease the inquisition as a result of you’ll not entertain the dialogue. Then, merely don’t reply when he goes into unwelcome territory.
Should you don’t interact, he’ll cease speaking to you … ultimately.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My spouse and I are gearing up for retirement. We’re very excited.
We got here to america 45 years in the past and have been working tirelessly ever since. Retirement will really feel completely different for us.
I’m excited, in fact, however nonetheless a bit nervous. We don’t have any grandchildren but, so we’ll should fill our time with hobbies.
Do you have got any ideas for our new chapter?
— Anticipating Retirement
DEAR ANTICIPATING RETIREMENT: Earlier than you retire, make a plan. What do you take pleasure in doing, individually and as a pair? What have you ever dreamed of doing however had no time to discover? Put this stuff on a bucket listing.
Do you need to keep residing the place you at the moment are? Many retirees downsize and transfer to extra temperate climates. Assume by means of your choices primarily based in your funds, and make this subsequent chapter a time of exploration collectively.
It may be a whole lot of enjoyable should you set that intention.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist folks entry and activate their goals. You’ll be able to ship inquiries to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
