DEAR ABBY: My youthful sister and I have been shut rising up. We didn’t have many pals, and we have been all the time keen to play video games and have enjoyable with one another.
At one level, my sister stated she wished to marry me after we grew up. I didn’t suppose a lot of it as a result of we have been nonetheless children, and I figured she didn’t know there have been various kinds of love.
As we grew older, we did make our personal pals, and at this time I’m engaged to my longtime girlfriend.
My sister and my fiancee received alongside nice through the years we have been nonetheless simply “boyfriend and girlfriend,” however after we introduced our engagement, my sister turned hostile.
Because it seems, my sister took her intention to marry me critically, and at the same time as we received older and he or she understood the distinction between familial and romantic love, she carried a torch for me properly into her teenagers.
I would love my little sister to be a part of the marriage due to how vital she’s been to me, however she stubbornly insists on “winning me back” from my fiancee. Is there a approach to clarify the fact of this case, or are our sibling bonds finished for good?
— TERRIFIED SIBLING IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR TERRIFIED: Your sister is in want of the providers of a psychological well being skilled to rid herself of her fixation on you.
She ought to not be a part of your marriage ceremony as a result of her presence underneath the circumstances might be disruptive. If she attends in any respect, somebody ought to be assigned to take away her if she turns into disruptive.
Maybe your sibling bond might be reestablished later, however don’t financial institution on it.
DEAR ABBY: I’m courting a person I’ll name Lionel. He’s dwelling with me quickly (and paying half the lease) whereas I get again on my ft as a result of I used to be lately laid off.
Lionel was beforehand in an 18-year relationship that ended three years in the past when his ex threw him out. She nonetheless asks him to pay for issues, together with an $1,800 bank card invoice she ran up. He tells me he’s “obliged” to do it, which makes me suspect he’s nonetheless in love along with her.
Though Lionel claims he loves me, he nonetheless does issues like this for her.
I’m undecided what to suppose, and I’m not positive I ought to be with him. Am I flawed for being upset?
— PERPLEXED IN NEVADA
DEAR PERPLEXED: Lionel appears to be a beneficiant individual. If he’s dwelling with you to ease your monetary burden because the layoff, I believe you need to be grateful.
I don’t know why he feels obligated to repay his ex’s bank card invoice, and also you didn’t point out the rationale.
Calmly talk about this with him earlier than deciding whether or not that is value ending the connection over. If it’s a one-time factor, let it slide a minimum of till you discover one other job. Nevertheless, if he’s endlessly tied to the girl, discover one other roommate.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
