DEAR MISS MANNERS: My partner and I are pals with a pair, one in all whom is in a band.
This band placed on a present at a restaurant, and we went to point out assist.
We arrived previous to the beginning of the present, round 7:30, and loved the music, applauding loudly and singing alongside to the songs we knew. Nonetheless, because it obtained later and later, round 11:30, we turned fatigued and actually wished to make our exit.
Since we had no concept how for much longer the present would go, I advised my husband we must always head out when the present music ended.
On the finish of the music, we stood up, stated goodbye to our good friend’s spouse and waved to our good friend on stage. The band then introduced that this is able to be their final music, however we have been exhausted and felt we had already dedicated to our exit, so we went forward and left.
Within the mild of the following day, I felt responsible and puzzled if we had made a social blunder by not sticking it out for the final music. Our pals haven’t talked about this; I actually don’t know if we’re shut sufficient that they’d say one thing in the event that they have been upset.
Was this objectively impolite? Ought to I attain out to our pals and ask them in the event that they have been damage or offended?
GENTLE READER: Why are you in search of bother? There was no approach you might have recognized that the band was nearing their final music — and cheap pals would understand that.
After 4 hours, you place in your time. Eleven-thirty p.m. is sort of late sufficient.
Nonetheless, if you’re lifeless set on chastising your self, Miss Manners will will let you ship a brief be aware saying that you just loved the live performance and have been sorry to have to depart earlier than its finish. You might add that you just stay up for listening to the final music subsequent time. However “… provided that it happens before midnight” ought to solely be implied.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is there a well mannered technique to keep away from shaking arms with strangers?
I used to be in a automobile dealership, and each worker I encountered prolonged a hand to me, anticipating me to shake it.
I do know that they have been simply making an attempt to seem pleasant and open. However I additionally know that it is a good technique to transmit illnesses and pathogenic microorganisms.
Many individuals don’t have good hand-washing practices, particularly after utilizing the restroom, and it grosses me out to have to the touch their arms.
An infectious-disease specialist has even said that the apply of shaking arms must be deserted.
GENTLE READER: Miss Manners typically agrees with you, however worries that the social illness of being unwilling to take part in formalities can be harmful.
When you can gracefully finesse one other gesture — waving, or, in much less formal conditions, a fist bump — Miss Manners will enable it.
Including “I’m healthy, but don’t want you to risk it” will maybe take away a number of the sting. If all else fails, carrying hand sanitizer with you and discreetly making use of it after handshakes could also be a short-term answer.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or via postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
