DEAR HARRIETTE: This Thanksgiving was an absolute catastrophe.
I’ve been courting my boyfriend for a 12 months, and this vacation felt like the right time to introduce him to my household.
I used to be nervous as a result of, whereas I like them, my household is understood to be just a little unconventional. They’re loud, opinionated and have a tendency to say precisely what’s on their minds, irrespective of how inappropriate.
From the second we walked in, it was like a circus. My uncle began grilling my boyfriend about his job and his plans for the long run, after which my aunt jumped in to query him about his political opinions proper in the midst of dinner. My cousins thought it will be hilarious to share each embarrassing story they may consider about me, and my mother saved dropping hints about how she’s “ready for grandchildren.”
My boyfriend dealt with all of it in addition to he might, however I might inform he was overwhelmed.
I’m nervous this complete expertise may need left a nasty impression on my boyfriend, and I really feel embarrassed about how issues turned out. I would like him to really feel welcomed by my household, however as an alternative, it felt like he was underneath a microscope.
How can I easy issues over with him and likewise set some boundaries with my household for the long run?
— Crossing the Line
DEAR CROSSING THE LINE: Because you already know what your loved ones is like, that little that you simply say goes to get them to alter. So don’t promise something to your boyfriend about their conduct sooner or later.
As an alternative, you possibly can apologize for a way overwhelming the expertise could have been for him. If he likes being with you and needs to get to know you and your loved ones higher, he might want to be taught to spar with them in an amicable approach and never get too defensive.
Ask him how he felt after the dinner and the way he’s doing now. Discover out if he’s turned off by their conduct, or if he discovered it amusing. You by no means know. He could have some kooky members of the family, too, and he might be extra OK with it than you suppose.
If there’s a probability for him in your future, he’s going to have to have the ability to spar with them from time to time.
DEAR HARRIETTE: After years of utilizing conventional notebooks, I made a decision to transition to digital planning, particularly as faculties are actually adapting to digital instruments.
Whereas I used to be excited concerning the potential for higher group, the change hasn’t been as easy as I hoped. I discover myself lacking the tactile pleasure of writing and feeling overwhelmed by studying new apps and techniques.
I don’t wish to quit, however I’m beginning to marvel if digital instruments are actually the correct match for me.
The promise of effectivity and suppleness is tempting, but the adjustment feels daunting. How can I embrace this variation with out dropping the enjoyment and luxury of my previous methods?
— Digital Planning Dilemmas
DEAR DIGITAL PLANNING DILEMMAS: Who says it’s a must to select? I exploit a mixture of digital sources and old school notepads. This makes me really feel comfy and satisfies my want to write down issues down.
The know-how is fantastic for assist in organizing ideas, dates and particulars shortly. You possibly can design the way in which you set up your self utilizing no matter mixture of instruments you want!
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist folks entry and activate their desires. You possibly can ship inquiries to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
