DEAR MISS MANNERS: My ex-wife (we divorced 40 years in the past) just lately did one thing I might by no means dream of doing: She threw herself an elaborate catered social gathering for her seventieth birthday.
Our daughter and son-in-law attended, as did I, together with a dozen of my ex’s longtime pals. She gave every of us a replica of her self-published guide of poems.
All of it left me with very blended feelings. Is that this a factor folks do on a regular basis and nobody instructed me? Was it meant to point out her appreciation for us on her “journey in life,” or was it a chance for her to be the focus?
Both (or each) could be in keeping with what I’ve noticed of her character over the a long time. I don’t know if I ought to really feel joyful or embarrassed for her — and even unhappy. What are your ideas?
GENTLE READER: That it little question supplied bemused fodder so that you can gossip about afterwards. For that, Miss Manners would suppose you’ll be grateful. As a result of in case your former spouse shouldn’t be unhappy or embarrassed, why do you have to be?
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I dislike being in posed photographs, significantly now that all the pieces finally ends up posted on-line.
Mates gained’t let me off the hook. “Oh, come on!” they repeat, each time I say “no, thanks.”
After all I take part throughout particular events, similar to household photographs at my nephew’s marriage ceremony. However on informal events, how do I excuse myself from the frequent group pictures?
GENTLE READER: Wanting subtly making your self invisible within the image (turning your again, wanting down, and so on.), Miss Manners suggests bodily excusing your self simply earlier than they take the image — leaving them to surprise in case you are immediately in poor health or simply aggravated.
Once you come again completely wholesome and even-keeled, chances are you’ll say, in the event that they ask, “As I mentioned, I don’t like taking pictures. But I hope yours came out well.”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: As a seasoned hairdresser, I’ve had longtime shoppers transfer away. They inform me their largest fears are discovering a brand new physician and a brand new hairstylist.
I’ve typically really useful that they politely ask girls they meet for the title of their stylist, and whether or not they’re taking new shoppers. I’ve gotten new shoppers by that method myself. Most girls actually don’t have an issue with being requested.
GENTLE READER: It’s the “politely” half that’s key. Additionally necessary, Miss Manners suggests, is the reassurance that you’ll not poach their hairdresser, cross their title to too many others or render it not possible for them to get an appointment themselves.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: When the visitor cancels a long-planned Sunday dinner on the host’s residence just some hours beforehand (on account of sickness), who ought to observe as much as reschedule? The host or the visitor?
GENTLE READER: Real sickness will get a cross, even when the host silently harbors resentment that the long-planned dinner was ruined on the final minute.
As it will be presumptuous of the visitor to reschedule the occasion, and it isn’t identified when the visitor shall be nicely once more, Miss Manners means that the host says, “I hope you are feeling better. We would love to reschedule for next week if you are up to it; otherwise, please let us know when you are fully recovered and we’ll figure out a time.”
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her electronic mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or via postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
