DEAR ABBY: My buddy is married to a penny-pincher. He hates spending cash.
They’re retired and have sizable property. He by no means buys her something for her birthday or takes her out to dinner. He doesn’t purchase her a card on Valentine’s Day, both.
They every personal their very own houses and commute backwards and forwards between them. When he involves her home, she has her fridge stocked. When she goes to his, he has no meals. She should go to the market and purchase meals for each of them. Then he will get indignant available in the market about spending cash on meals. He hates eating places as a result of they value cash. He buys his dinner from a hospital cafeteria.
They maintain their funds separate, however she feels he ought to do one thing for her for holidays and particular events. She all the time does good issues for him, like deal with him to sporting occasions, dinners, and so on.
In the event that they exit with a bunch of individuals, he will get aggravated with splitting the invoice. She’s all the time slipping him cash underneath the desk so he will pay his and her share.
At this level, his cheapness is affecting their marriage. Abby, are you able to counsel something to alter a cheapskate husband? He has the assets; he simply doesn’t wish to spend any of it.
— ASKING FOR A FRIEND
DEAR ASKING: In case your buddy and her husband spent an affordable period of time collectively earlier than they married, she should have identified about his “quirk.” He might have a deep-seated concern of poverty.
As a result of his penury has develop into more and more laborious for her to dwell with, she should converse up. That their houses and monetary property have been stored separate might have been very clever. (You didn’t point out whether or not they’re joyful in different elements of their marriage.)
Counseling may assist — if he’s keen to confess there’s a drawback.
If she’s soliciting recommendation from you, counsel she develop into much less beneficiant and eat effectively earlier than she arrives at his dwelling. If his cabinet is naked, he, not she, ought to go to the shop to fill it and even deal with himself to dinner on the hospital cafeteria.
Not each partner wants items however, as a result of she does and he chooses to disregard it, she might have to just accept they’re two very totally different individuals. Whereas opposites can entice, on this case, apparently it isn’t true. What a disgrace.
DEAR ABBY: I’ve been a widow for 3 years. There’s a man I’ve identified for the final eight years, and I’ve had a crush on for a few years.
I’m unsure how one can speak to him about my emotions and I don’t wish to spoil our friendship. How can I speak to him and never spoil our friendship?
— FEELING LOST
DEAR FEELING LOST: Do you socialize with this individual? In case you do, the following time you exit collectively, inform him how a lot you want him and the way particular he’s to you. If he reacts positively, inform him you will have a crush on him. Then pay attention.
I wouldn’t name that being unduly ahead, but when he runs for the hills, you’ll know your crush isn’t reciprocated. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
