DEAR ABBY: I’m in center faculty and half of a giant pal group.
I’ve one pal, “Kaleigh,” who utterly modified final yr due to the affect of one other lady. Kaleigh began saying inappropriate issues and speaking solely about boys. She by no means did that earlier than she grew to become “best friends” with the opposite lady. It has ruined each of their reputations.
I can’t resolve if I ought to confront them and, if I did, what to say.
I don’t need both of them to be mad at me. We’ve got had arguments earlier than, and it finally ends up unhealthy for the group when anybody will get into an argument with them. In addition they ceaselessly get into arguments with one another, and by some means the entire group will get concerned.
This has been occurring for a yr, and it has put a pressure on the group. I don’t know if I can deal with extra of this.
I’m not certain they are going to be simple to motive with if I confront them. What ought to I do?
— MORE DRAMA IN TENNESSEE
DEAR MORE DRAMA: You may’t “save” or change Kaleigh, and telling her she is ruining her fame might come throughout as jealousy.
You acknowledged that you’re half of a giant pal group. Quite than confront Kaleigh, begin concentrating on friendships with different ladies within the group.
One factor I’ve realized over time is you may by no means have sufficient associates.
DEAR ABBY: How do I deal with an aged aunt who has a playing downside?
I reside in a city with casinos. She lives in one other state 4 hours away. She calls me typically to ask to stick with me; if I’m touring, she asks to make use of my home.
A yr in the past, she known as me to assist her get excluded from playing within the state the place she lives as a result of she was uncontrolled. She will be able to now not gamble the place she lives, can’t afford a lodge to go to cities with a on line casino and sees me as her playing getaway.
I’ve defined that I’ve a roommate, and my place is small. I’ve no real interest in somebody who spends hours at a craps desk coming into my house (I’m health-conscious), and I flat-out can’t accommodate her as a visitor. She received’t hand over!
Is my solely choice to finish communication together with her?
— NOT BETTING ON HER
DEAR NOT BETTING: Screening her calls is one choice. The opposite is to maintain repeating your mantra that you simply can’t accommodate her as a result of you’ve got a roommate and your home is simply too small. Then encourage her to search out one other interest. When you do, she might cease asking you and search for one other enabler.
DEAR READERS: Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and no Thanksgiving can be full with out sharing the normal prayer penned by my pricey late mom:
Oh, Heavenly Father,
We thank Thee for meals and bear in mind the hungry.
We thank Thee for well being and bear in mind the sick.
We thank Thee for associates and bear in mind the friendless.
We thank Thee for freedom and bear in mind the enslaved.
Might these remembrances stir us to service, that Thy presents to us could also be used for others.
Amen.
Have a contented and protected celebration, everybody! — Love, ABBY
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
