DEAR ABBY: I’ve no drawback driving at evening, however I desire to remain dwelling slightly than exit.
Reality be advised, I don’t prefer to be out after 4 or 5 p.m. Sure, I miss lots of social actions, however I don’t thoughts.
The issue is pals and acquaintances who, after they discover out I’m not going out at evening, immediately supply to select me up as a result of they’re sort and gracious.
Irrespective of what number of instances I clarify that it’s not the driving, it’s that I desire to not be out at evening, it falls on deaf ears.
I do know I’m fortunate to have candy pals who volunteer to drive me, however I’m bored with explaining myself.
As a result of I don’t need to insult anybody, are you able to recommend a well mannered strategy to flip these of us down? Nothing I’ve mentioned thus far has labored, together with saying, “It’s not the driving. I don’t go out at night.”
— HOMEBODY IN FLORIDA
DEAR HOMEBODY: Maybe it’s best to state your message a bit extra emphatically by saying, “I don’t think you understand. It’s not the driving, it’s that I am uncomfortable going out after dark. Please don’t ask me again because my answer isn’t going to change.”
DEAR ABBY: I’ve been dwelling with somebody for 4 years. After we began dwelling collectively, his son “Byron” was incarcerated.
Byron is 33 and has been in hassle since he was 15. His dad retains bailing him out. I used two of my bank cards to assist increase the $11,000 bail to get him out of jail. In alternate, Byron agreed to placed on a brand new roof for us and assist round the home.
Byron has accomplished not one of the duties that had been requested of him, and his dad retains serving to him anyway.
We needed to pay Byron’s lease on the rehab so he wouldn’t be kicked out. This has created a rift between me and my boyfriend, who thinks I’m being egocentric and grasping.
Am I improper for not wanting to assist financially? We obtained alongside nice till this occurred.
— DOING TIME, TOO, IN ALABAMA
DEAR DOING TIME: Byron is the individual he’s as a result of his father has enabled him since he was a toddler. You’re neither egocentric nor grasping for refusing to provide more cash.
Forgive me if this appears harsh, however except you need to proceed to be emotionally blackmailed by your boyfriend, get out now earlier than you might be drained financially.
DEAR ABBY: My spouse’s household has a historical past of breast most cancers. She has had a number of MRIs and biopsies, which have precipitated a substantial amount of discomfort and stress. She is now getting into for a lumpectomy.
I’m starting to assume it might be higher to have her breasts eliminated. I didn’t marry her boobs; I married the lady behind them.
What do you assume?
— PROACTIVE IN CONNECTICUT
DEAR PROACTIVE: I’m certain you’re keen on her, however I feel it’s best to help your spouse emotionally and let this choice be one thing that’s determined between her and her docs.
Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
