DEAR MISS MANNERS: These of us who preserve issues tidy are sometimes accused of being “neat freaks,” for some cause.
My finest pal and roommate has labeled me such, though she very a lot enjoys the top results of a neat and tidy atmosphere.
What’s the correct response when somebody accuses me of being a “neat freak,” even whether it is stated lightheartedly? And is there a phrase for the other sort of particular person, apart from the plain impolite retorts?
GENTLE READER: “Well, it beats being a dirty freak.”
Oh, is that one of many apparent impolite responses? Sorry, however this methodology of dumbing down requirements as a way to justify one’s personal shortcomings annoys Miss Manners.
But maybe you might be proper {that a} mild tone doesn’t soften that fairly sufficient. How a few jolly, “It sure beats being a messy freak”? Is that higher?
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My 4-year-old daughter has a June birthday, and we have now a celebration for her with household yearly.
As a result of her birthday being within the busy summer time season, my brother and his household haven’t ever been to her birthday celebration. They don’t acknowledge her with a cellphone name, a card or a present.
This bothers me, as I believe she is an excellent little woman who deserves slightly recognition on her birthday (like everybody does, in my view). I even talked about to him that he didn’t get her something.
(I wish to level out that I give his youngsters birthday presents, and he has given the remainder of my youngsters birthday presents this yr.)
His response? “Oh, I didn’t?”
He by no means stated anything, so I dropped it. However it bothers me. Ought to I let it go, or deliver it up once more?
GENTLE READER: Please don’t train your daughter to maintain monitor of who’s, and isn’t, acknowledging her birthday. Many individuals now try this, nicely into superior age, and nobody is the happier for it.
Miss Manners doesn’t doubt that your little woman is fantastic, and that you’re showering her with consideration on her birthday, and doubtless on different days as nicely. She shouldn’t come to really feel that there’s a reckoning day on which she judges others, and maybe herself, on the tributes paid her.
Only a guess, however maybe your brother shouldn’t be the present-sender in his family. That might account for his imprecise reply. So if you will problem a reminder, deal with the entire household, together with his youngsters. Such a message might say that whether it is an excessive amount of of a nuisance, the alternate of birthday presents among the many cousins might be dropped with no unwell will.
One other guess is that his youngsters will foyer to proceed receiving presents.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it applicable to serve alcohol at a child bathe the place solely ladies will probably be attending?
GENTLE READER: As a result of girls don’t drink?
Properly, Miss Manners trusts that the expectant mom doesn’t, so there needs to be one thing nonalcoholic for her. However that shouldn’t be a think about whether or not the bathe is a tea occasion or a cocktail occasion.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e-mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
