DEAR ABBY: I helped a pal by giving her rides to and from work for 2 weeks whereas her automobile was being repaired.
When she received her automobile again, she advised me to let her know if she may ever repay the favor by serving to me.
Lately, my automobile wanted repairs, so I requested if I may name within the favor for a journey to and from work for a number of days. She replied that she may try this for me, however I ought to know she had already “paid the favor (owed to me) forward” by serving to out one among her different pals, so she felt she didn’t owe me a favor any longer.
I additionally received the impression that, if she gave me rides to work, I might owe her a brand new favor. I advised her to overlook that I requested, and I’d discover one other option to get to work.
Is there some rule of etiquette that permits you to inform somebody you’re “paying a favor forward” and not owe them a favor?
— ANNOYED IN THE SOUTH
DEAR ANNOYED: If there’s, that is the primary I’ve heard of it.
The “friend” you describe is what they name a “bean counter,” or a “scorekeeper.” That is somebody who locations extreme emphasis on controlling issues, like expenditures, budgets and, in her case, relationships. People like which might be greatest averted.
DEAR ABBY: A beloved pal and member of the family has a behavior of fixing the temperatures of meals that’s already being cooked by different individuals.
Is that this thought of impolite? Is there a well mannered option to right the scenario?
— BOTHERED & BEWILDERED IN BOSTON
DEAR B&B: It could be time to put up an indication in your oven or range advising guests (beloved or not) that you don’t want your home equipment tampered with when you find yourself making ready to entertain. Whoever has been doing that is extraordinarily presumptuous as a result of it may probably smash the complete meal.
DEAR ABBY: I typically marvel why males don’t care for his or her youngsters like girls do.
In my lifetime, I’ve identified just one man who modified diapers, did naps and baths, took youngsters to daycare or faculty, attended most occasions within the baby’s life and was there for the kid 24 hours a day. (He’s the person I married.)
Most males I do know assume all the above are the lady’s accountability alone, even when she works full time. I can solely assume it dates again to cavemen days or life on the prairie.
— VALUED IN INDIANA
DEAR VALUED: Ideally, the tasks of kid care ought to be shared. You didn’t point out your age, however over the previous couple of many years I’ve been impressed to see fathers proudly carrying their infants in a sling or pushing them in strollers. In addition they take older youngsters out for a Sunday breakfast, to their sporting occasions in addition to to skilled sports activities occasions.
I don’t know what their house lives are like, and neither do you, however they seem like very a lot concerned of their youngsters’s lives.
In many years previous, males thought that working lengthy hours to offer for his or her households was what they have been speculated to do, and due to this fact have been much less hands-on than your husband.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
