DEAR MISS MANNERS: My fiance and I are getting married this fall. It is going to be a really small marriage ceremony, with simply our instant households in attendance, and no formal reception.
As a result of we’re having such a small marriage ceremony, and since we’ve been residing and creating a house collectively for the previous six years, we didn’t create any sort of marriage ceremony registry. The attendance of our family members at this particular second is present sufficient!
Nonetheless, my MIL-to-be lately hosted a shock marriage ceremony bathe on our behalf, the place a number of relations who won’t be on the marriage ceremony gave us presents.
Whereas we’re so grateful for his or her thoughtfulness, our lack of a registry meant that a number of of the presents had been both not our model or issues we already had. The visitors did present present receipts, so we had been capable of return a few of these unneeded gadgets and buy a pleasant knife set as a substitute.
How ought to I full the thank-yous for the gadgets we returned? Can we point out that they had been exchanged for one thing else, or simply thank individuals for what they gave?
I don’t wish to lie and say, “Thank you for the candlesticks; they have a prominent place on our mantel!” when that isn’t the case.
GENTLE READER: Welcome to a world the place presents should not simply chosen off of an inventory and a few thought is put into their selecting. Isn’t it splendidly cheesy?
Being trustworthy can be merciless, however outright mendacity isn’t obligatory, both. Miss Manners suggests that you simply praise the presents with out committing to utilizing them. As in: “What a unique and interesting tablecloth. Its Jackson Pollack-like look will be so convenient in hiding spills.”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Particular person A misplaced his spouse after practically 65 years of marriage. On what would have been their marriage ceremony anniversary a number of weeks later, Particular person B texted Particular person A to say, “I’m thinking of you on your anniversary.”
Particular person A wrote again and mentioned, “Thank you — it was a hard day, and I appreciate you thinking of me.” Particular person B texted again, “You’re welcome.”
Now, I do know that “You’re welcome” is extra well mannered than alternate options comparable to “No worries,” “No problem” or “Of course.” However it appears in some way inappropriate on this circumstance, and I can’t put my finger on why.
What’s one imagined to say on this situation? What ought to Particular person B have mentioned, if something, when being thanked for pondering of Particular person A?
None of that is my enterprise, so in fact I mentioned nothing. However it did trigger me to marvel.
GENTLE READER: The sentiment being extra essential than the shape, Miss Manners thinks Individuals A and B each acquitted themselves most graciously.
How lucky for you that it isn’t your online business.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e mail, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or by way of postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
