DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve a detailed pal who has suffered a traumatic expertise — she was molested by her uncle.
Understandably, she is frightened to speak about it and feels hesitant to press costs towards him.
This concern and trauma have left her feeling remoted and uncertain of easy methods to search assist. I wish to help her and assist her discover the braveness to talk out and take motion towards her abuser. I additionally wish to present her with a protected house to share her emotions.
What can I do to encourage her to confront this subject and search the assistance she must heal and reclaim her life?
— Silent Trauma
DEAR SILENT TRAUMA: Don’t attempt to drive your pal to go to the police. Hopefully she is going to try this in time. As an alternative, encourage her to put in writing down her expertise intimately in order that she has a document of it and might unload it from her spirit.
For the reason that abuser was her uncle, she in all probability wants to inform an grownup within the household who may also help shield her towards this man. Ask her who she feels closest to who might be able to assist her discreetly. Who will perceive and can wish to shield her? That’s one thing vital for her to consider, as it’s not all the time somebody apparent.
Some members of the family select to bury their heads within the sand and blame the sufferer slightly than the offender. She ought to contemplate fastidiously who her confidant might be after which speak to that particular person concerning the state of affairs and ask for assist.
Conserving this expertise to herself is unhealthy. She must course of her emotions and discover a option to really feel protected. Maybe after she confides in somebody (and together with your help), she is going to discover the braveness to report this crime to native authorities.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve a 16-year-old sister who’s presently dealing with the challenges of being a highschool scholar.
With the strain to excel academically and socially, she typically feels overwhelmed and burdened, striving to satisfy the excessive expectations set by herself and others. I’ve observed that this stress typically manifests as anxiousness and temper swings, which could be troublesome for her to handle.
What can we presumably do to assist her in order that she doesn’t really feel stressed at school and in life?
— Educational Anxieties
DEAR ACADEMIC ANXIETIES: If there’s a faculty counselor with whom she will be able to speak, that might be nice. Having the ability to specific her fears and issues to a impartial social gathering may also help her perceive her emotions and handle them.
Your dad and mom can also wish to get her a non-public therapist who can help her throughout this time. What’s key’s having an expert she will be able to belief to assist her navigate what she’s experiencing.
One other nice stress reducer is bodily exercise. What does she do to train her physique? As her sister, maybe you possibly can invite her to do one thing lively collectively, or encourage her to affix a membership at her faculty like a strolling or working group, cheering or something that will get her physique transferring.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founding father of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to assist individuals entry and activate their goals. You possibly can ship inquiries to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
